For instance, imagine if during the world cup final this year (TOPICAL) Jesus decided to do his second coming. It'd be such an anti-climax for the poor fellow.
"I'm back, come on everybody look at me!" he'd be hollering outside the stadium. Literally gets blanked, except by a massive security guard.
"Listen mate, you're gonna have to fuck off or I'm gonna go mental," he warns in his ridiculous South African accent.
"I'm Jesus though," reasons Mr. Christ. (Saying Mr. Christ seems strange, but I'm gonna stick with it)
"Yeah what's your point?"
"...Well I don't really have anything apart from that to be honest, I thought that'd be quite impressive on its own."
"Right, either show me a ticket or fuck the fuck off for Nelson Mandella's sake," the security says, quite carefully not taking Jesus's dad's name in vain. So, Jesus being Jesus, he does a miracle and conjures a ticket out of thin air.
"Thank you. Right, in you go then." He's an alright guy deep down, was just doing his job, like.
So Jesus goes in, but unfortunately he conjured up a really shit ticket so he's right at the back and behind a massive post.
"Fucking hell," he grumbles to himself, but then remembers the reason why he came in.
"Everybody! 'Tis I, Jesus, I'm back to lead you all to a golden age of peace!" he hollers, but unfortunately is drowned out by those fucking horns that sound like a massive bee.
"This is shit," he sighs. And besides he's wasting his time because by some strange coincidence everybody in the stadium is a Buddhist so they wouldn't really care about him being back anyways. To them it's similar to Noel Edmunds' return to television.
Nevertheless, when the game is over and the cup is being held up by North Korea (yeah they win) he runs onto the pitch and tries again.
"Listen up!" he says, but is mistaken for a crazy cunt and is immediately shot. See ya later.
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