Old People Talking On The Bus

The other day I was sitting on the bus minding my own business when suddenly my ears were viciously assaulted by the sound of two old people having a bit of a moan. It was all the standard sort of thing, how people these days don't realise how easy they've got it and how kids are so rude now. Mundane bollocks.
It was at this time that the thought struck me how good it would be if old people on the bus discussed highly complicated metaphysical theories instead of how the price of milk is so high now. So you don't have to imagine it for yourself, here is an example of what this might be like:
"Cor blimey Mildred I tell you, I was walking to the shops earlier to get my bits, you know, tea and biscuits and that...."
"Oh yes, for your grandchildren, Agatha?"
"Yes they do love a biscuit when they visit. Anyway, as I was making my way to the corner shop the thought occurred, could it be that all the wars in the history of mankind have been not for territorial or material gain as is supposed, but were essential only in the sense that homosapiens as a species just NEED a form of conflict?"
"How do you mean, Agatha?"
"Well think about it, we've evolved to have minds which are capable of invention, to the extent that we've 'invented' and developed weapons and buildings that can almost indefinitely keep us safe from the sorts of 'dangers' our ancestors would've encountered, such as predators and the like."
"Yes."
"But just because we've developed such sophisticated protection from danger, and removed the need to fight for survival, doesn't mean we've ridden ourselves of the INSTINCT to fight."
"Ooh look at how that young man's wearing his jeans, you can see all his underwear and everything."
"Oh how silly, it wasn't like that in our day. If he was my son I'd clip him 'round the earhole."
"Oh I know. Anyway, back to your supposition, are you suggesting that because humans have removed the need to fight for survival, that very instinct is channeled into these artificial circumstances, these 'wars'?"
"Well, to put it simply, yes."
"I think that's highly presumptious on your part, Agatha. I'd say that in almost all wars there is a definite and feasible motive, even if it is questionable on moral grounds. It's not the same as fights on a small scale, such as if a man spilt another man's pint in a pub and so he took it upon himself to start a fight. In that instant, indeed these two are fighting for the sake of fighting. If you were speaking of this transferred instinct in this example I may agree with you, but I'm afraid war is far too big and complex an event for you to explain away with it being caused by a displaced instinct."
"Perhaps you're right, Mildred."
"Ooh here's my stop. I tell you, it looks so different around here now. When I was a girl there was a lovely big field just behind that wall there. All flats now."
"Oh I know. Bye Agatha."
"Bye."
It'd be good wouldn't it?