Lucifer Just Wants To Have Fun

I don't like how every horror film that involves summoning Lucifer/Beelzebub/Satan/The Mother-Fuckin' Devil depicts him as only wanting to wreak havoc on Earth and generally be a fucking awful cunt. If you think about it, he's been trapped in the pits of Hell for all eternity and hasn't had the slightest bit of fun in ages, so if he finally gets a well-deserved break from oblivion's torturous flames surely he'd just want to have a good time? I personally think that this would most certainly be the case. Mind you, this would be quite gutting for the satanist who summons him to destroy mankind.
"My Lord! Wreak your vengeance on God's kingdom!" the satanist would say. Lucifer would just stand there looking somewhat nonplussed.
"I can't be bothered. Let's go out. Are there any good clubs around here?" he'd say, dusting off his sharp suit (it's covered in brimstone and shit, on account of him having spent most of eternity in Hell.) The satanist would now be quite perplexed indeed.
"Clubs? But...I thought you'd want to, you know, initiate armageddon? Create Hell on Earth?" he'd say. Lucifer just frowns, entirely unimpressed.
"What seriously? Hell is shit. Like, proper shit. Fucking dire. Why would I want to create Hell on Earth? Earth is bloody wicked in comparison, it's got bars and clubs and that. I just wanna go out dancing, to be honest."
"....."
"Why are you looking at me like that? Don't any of you pricks in robes go out clubbing?" he'd ask, addressing the rest of the satanic ensemble. Here they would look somewhat sheepish, avoid eye contact and shuffle from one foot to the other. The head satanist speaks up.
"Well....we mainly sort of sacrifice goats in your honour and that."
"Why the fuck would I want you to sacrifice goats in my honour? Literally, do you think I could give two shits about a fucking goat????"
"......Well when you put it like that...."
"Exactly. Now somebody order me a cab, if you lot aren't coming out I'll make friends on my own."
So, Lucifer himself would hit the town and have a fucking banging night out, complete with a kebab at the end and banter with the chavs.
"Oy mate, get a haircut!" they'd say, at which point Lucifer would erase them from the very fabric of existence.
Now I'm not suggesting that everybody should revel in Satan's past behaviour and say he's a good lad in general, coz he's not; he was a bit of a shit in all honesty, but everybody can change in time. If we didn't believe in that in England then we'd still have the death penalty, wouldn't we? Incidentally, did anybody see that fucking shit 'mockumentary' about hanging Gary Glitter? What a load of shit.
ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE SATAN A CHANCE