Giraffe

Mr. Giraffe is making his way to his local supermarket to pick up some bits, such as tea and milk and that. However, on his way to the supermarket he encounters something of a problem. Because of his big stupid neck, he all of a sudden gets his head caught in a tree.
"Fuck, this is well embarrassing," he thinks, and tries to quickly free himself from the clutching branches. However, his useless horns which aren't even for anything make this exceedingly difficult, and he begins to go bright red underneath his yellow fur at the thought of how fucking stupid he must look trying to tug his head out from the tree. Stuff from the tree starts to fall out and get all over his smart suit (which he only bought yesterday) like leaves and stuff.
"You alright there mate?" asks a passer-by, stifling a laugh.
"Don't laugh mate, give me a break. I am actually properly stuck as well, could you help?" Mr. Giraffe requests, and by this point he's sweating like mad as well so he smells quite bad.
"I'll see what I can do," the man shrugs, and starts tugging at Mr. Giraffe's fucking long neck.
"Take it easy mate!" Mr. Giraffe protests.
"I'm doing the best I can, mate."
"I'm not your mate."
"Well I'm not yours either," the protester snaps, and storms off in a huff. Literally has hurt feelings.
Mr. Giraffe realises he's shot himself in the foot here (or hoof, whatever the fucking stupid cunt has instead of feet) because he's still stuck in the tree and it doesn't look as if anybody else is around.
"I only wanted some tea," he whimpers to himself.
This problem persists for about 2 days.
Now, the reason I've told ya'll this distressing tale is because I thought recently that alot of animals evolved to be quite stupid. Those horns aren't used for anything at all, why doesn't he get rid of them? Similarly, why the HELL does the Rhino think it's necessary to have a horn as big as that, it's not as if he uses it that often because he barely gets started on due to his huge size. It's practically the same thing as Mike Tyson having two swords for arms. Completely unnecessary. Why doesn't God just step up his game a bit, basically? Like by making me win the lottery or something, aaarghh