Porky Pig Needs To Fucking Chill Out

The scene, Warner Brothers' board room. The conversation:
"We need one more character," says Mr. Warner.
"Yeah alright," says an employee. The other Warner brother has nothing to add on the matter. He's far less keen than the other brother. In fact, he always wanted to be whatever the early 20th Century version of a rock star was. Probably a prick in a jazz band or something.
"Don't you think brother?" asks the keen Warner brother.
"Yeah," he says in a thoroughly droll voice. When recalling the board meeting afterwards, most of the participants mention the severely droll quality of this utterance, and liken it to the drollness of a motherfucking cow's moo or something.
"Well what sort of character, should it be another animal or a completely random human like Elmur Fudd or Yosemete Sam?" asks an employee. What the fuck do those two character get out of hanging around with a bunch of animals anyway? Bloody perverts.
"Urm...animal I reckon. Seems right. In truth I kind of regret the creation of Elmur Fudd because he's like somebody's creepy uncle or something, and I don't need that sort of rep for my company. I dunno why we made him sound like Jonathan Ross either," Mr. Warner muses.
"Who?"
"What?"
"Anyway, yeah okay, what animals haven't we used yet?" asks an employee who's getting a bit big for his boots. His boots literally don't fit.
"We haven't used.....snails, or a giraffe..." an employee suggests.
"Are you fucking winding me up? A giraffe? How the fuck are we supposed to anthropomorphisise that? He'd be so fucking tall, it'd look shit. And what would his personality be? 'Oh, I'm a giraffe, I'm a bit nervous and tall,' blah blah. Boring. Shit. Try again," says Mr. Warner. The employee who said it is sweating like mad now.
"Well...we wouldn't necessarily have to anthropomorphisise it...."
"Oh my lord, are you fucking serious? So what we've got a talking rabbit and his pet fucking giraffe? That just fucks everything up, why would the rabbit be able to talk and not the giraffe? That's even worse than that dog in Disney who isn't Goofy," Mr. Warner flips.
"Oh I don't know....I'm just trying to...." the employee flusters. The other Warner brother has started playing on his gameboy by now.
"How about a pig?" another employee chips in.
"Go on..." Mr. Warner encourages.
"Well yeah, a pig, called...Hammy Pig..."
"Nah."
"Porky Pig?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah a pig called Porky Pig and he's always well angry."
"Nah Daffy's quite angry."
"Hmm yeah. So's Donald Duck actually."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, I'm just saying."
"Are you saying I ripped off Donald Duck? He can't even fucking talk, he sounds like he's been kicked in the throat."
"I didn't mean anything by it."
"I should hope not."
"Anyway, how about we give him a speech impediment?"
"But Daffy and Elmur Fudd have already got speech impediments," the previously flustered employee points out.
"Yeah but it cracks people up doesn't it?"
"Not really."
"Anyway yeah we can give him a stutter."
"Brilliant," Mr. Warner claps, "Draw him. Give him a gay little jacket as well I reckon."
"That kind of ruins continuity a bit. Why does he get clothes and the others don't?"
"Elmur Fudd's got clothes," the other employee says.
"I should fucking hope so," the lazy Warner brother chuckles.
"Oh NOW you pipe up," the keen Warner brother says in an annoying whiny voice.
"Oh here we fucking go," he sighs and accidentally puts a tetris piece in the wrong place and loses the game.
Basically, that guy was about to get the best score in tetris ever but he only just missed out on it because of the Porky Pig issue distracting him, which is why in his revenge he made it so that Porky Pig was generally a shit character and he never did anything funny. And it turns out the two Warner brothers weren't even actually brothers!!