Be Still My Bleating Heart

Imagine if you woke up one day and you're absolutely completely certain that your heart has transformed into a sheep. You're not exactly sure why you know this to be a fact, but it definitely is. You get up, feeling really groggy on account of your heart being a sheep, and head to the bathroom mirror. You look absolutely terrible.
"Urgh. I hope my heart hasn't turned into a sheep," you say, with your last strain of optimism. However, just as you say this, you hear an absolute muffled bleat come from your chest.
"Oh for God's sake."
So, quite understandably you head down to the doctors immediately to see what you can do about this. The doctor X-Rays you and you go over the results.
"Hmm. Yes it would seem that your heart has indeed transformed into a sheep."
"Be straight with me doc, how long have I got?"
"Until what?"
"...Well you know....until I kick the bucket?"
The doctor looks slightly concerned here and moves his bucket away from you.
"No no, not literally. I mean, is it life-threatening?"
"Oh heavens no. It would seem that this sheep has learnt quite quickly how to operate as a fully-functioning human heart. The only problem is you may be coughing up a lot of wool in the coming months."
"Oh right."
So you stroll out of the doctor's feeling quite confident about your new sheep heart, but you forgot one thing.
You're a vegetarian.
Absolute crisis of conscience.
You literally run straight back into the doctor.
"Doc! You've gotta save this poor sheep!"
"Son, if I take that sheep out, you'll die."
(Does anybody see a hit blockbuster film spawning out of this?)
"Oh... be still my bleating heart."
So you head home, having an absolute terrible time trying to come to terms with the ethical implications of you having a sheep for a heart. Unfortunately, just as you're walking past some animal-rights activists your sheep-heart lets out the mightiest of bleats.
"Oy, mate, have you got a sheep trapped in your ribcage?" the leader asks, who's a terrifying skinhead for some reason.
"Well....yes, but it isn't my fault, I just woke up with it in there!" you SHEEPISHLY reply. Hahaaa.
"I'm gonna fucking kill you for that you disgusting pig!" the leader shouts.
"Umm...surely as animal-rights activists we shouldn't call people animal names in a derogatory sense?" his right-hand man questions. The skinhead goes bright red at this point, which luckily gives you the chance to absolutely leg it.
When you get home your parents are really concerned about you.
"Why didn't you go to school today? You look very ill."
"Mummmmmmmm, I don't wanna talk about it!"
(The biggest bleat of all time erupts from your chest.)
"What the fucking fuck was that???!" your dad yelps.
"Nothinggggg, you're embarassing meee!!!" you say.
"Our son's been doing witchcraft, I know it! You've been hanging around with them Satanist foreigners haven't you?!!!" says your dad, literally on the verge of tears, "I'm gonna tell the Daily Mail about this!"
You stomp off to your room and put Nirvana on really loud. However, to your horror, you realise that you'd rather listen to Ba-Ba Black Sheep.
"Son, I've called the Daily Mail, they say they're gonna put you on the front page. And by the way, your mother has decided you're not having any supper tonight for being such a little shit," your dad calls up.
"Bloody hell. Could this day get any worse?" you ask yourself.
BUT THEN!!!!!!! You wake up, and realise you were just suffering from crack delusion.
The sheep next to you goes, "My God man, this crack is mental."
"Just a bit."