Donald Duck the Loose Cannon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-eQjMqhbys

Most Disney characters are quite cutesy and generally faff around innocently and get into all sorts of comical japes, but I've personally found that the one they call Donald Duck seems to have a sinister edge to his personality. Whereas Goofy might just sort of trip over a log or some shit and make everybody laugh (which if you think of it is a form of bullying) Donald just loses his temper at the slightest thing going wrong. Every single Donald Duck cartoon seems to involve him losing his rag one way or another, shouting his head off at his nephews and shit. It's quite uncomfortable to watch. I dread to think how he treats Daisy behind closed doors.
"Dinner's ready Donald," she calls into the darkened lounge, only to receive no reply from the beer-guzzling Donald. She hesitates to call again but knows it'll only be worse in the long run if she doesn't. "I said dinner's ready Donald."
"I FUCKING HEARD YOU!" he screams, and throws the beer bottle at the television. Once again his terrible anger has taken hold of him.
"I'm going out," he says, taking his leather jacket from the coat rack.
"Where are you going?"
Again there is no reply as he slams the door, and he gets into his car blind drunk. After several hours of chaotic driving, at one point nearly running over that fat cunt Pete who always just makes a dick out of himself anyway, he is pulled over by the Disney police, who are some pigs or something like that.
"What the fuck did I do wrong?" Donald howls, smashing the steering wheel with his feathery fists.
"You were doing about 70 in a 30 zone, Mr. Duck."
"Did you just call me Mr. Fuck???!?!?"
"....No, I said Mr. Duck."
"I swear to fucking god you called me Mr. Fuck."
"Well I didn't."
"Well you did."
Consequently Donald is banned from driving and made to attend anger management classes.
"So Donald, what is it that makes you angry?"
"Your fucking shit face for fuck's sake."
"Now you see Donald you've lost your temper again. Now breath like I showed you and calm down."
Donald gradually calms down but still thinks the counsellor has a shit face.
"Now, I'm going to show you some pictures and you tell me what makes you angriest."
The counsellor shows Donald a picture of his nephews chucking a snowball and he literally flips out immediately and smashes all the windows in the room.
"I don't think we're making much progress here."
And so, I regret to inform you, Donald is locked away in a padded cell for the rest of his years. This means that Disney need to get another duck character post-haste so as to have a male equivalent to Daisy, because Disney is a male-chauvinistic institution and they can't have a female character just on her own. So, they nick Daffy off of Warner Brothers.
"Suffering suckertash." he says as he's introduced to Daisy.
"I beg your pardon?"
"Suffering suckertash, I said." he repeats. Their partnership is an unhappy one.