Has anybody else noticed that there's something not quite right about JLS? Well, there's a reason for that. They're imposters. Imposters of what you say, imposters of talented people? Indeed, but not only that, they are also imposters of homo-sapiens. What I'm saying is, they're not actually human beings. As if it wasn't obvious enough, due to their frankly quite horrifying appearances and suspicious back-flips, I saw them the other day come out of their flying saucer, having only just applied their human disguises.
"Well the human race sure are a bunch of suckers," says the little one, whilst backflipping.
"I concur. We're clearly only close approximations of normal human beings, I mean look at my fucking eyes," says the goggle-eyed one.
"Yeah mate you really should have put a bit more effort into your costume," suggest the one who looks like he's melting.
"Leave it out, besides if I can fool Cheryl Cole I can fool anyone."
"I wouldn't go that far, she's thick as fucking shit."
"Amen to that." they all say, and high-five each other.
Basically, I've reported them to the MI5 and they said they'd take care of it, so I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I just thought I should let ya'll know the truth. I don't think they're even planning of taking over the world or anything like that, I think they're just doing it for a bit of a laugh. Fair enough really, everyone likes a laugh don't they? Even hideous apparitions from outer space, apparently.
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