The Original Stitch-Up

Ever wondered where the phrase 'stitched up' comes from? Your query ends here. Gather round and I shall tell you a tale.....
Jimmy-Boy Jameson is walking through the high street of his local town on the way to his tailor. He had been measured for a suit not long ago and today is the day when he'll pick it up.
"Bugger me I can't wait to fuckin wear this suit." he says to himself in a fit of excitement. So, he steps into the tailor and rings the bell.
"Ah Jimmy-Boy, here's your suit." says the tailor.
"Is it alright if I put it on now? It's just I really wanna fuckin wear it, you know what I'm saying?"
"Yes that's fine."
"Banging."
So he gets the suit on. But, he realises that on the back in it says 'Jimmy-Boy Jameson is a God-damn prick.' in stitching.
"What the fucking fuck is going on?" he says to himself, and walks back to the counter to accost the tailor.
"Oy! What the fucking fuck is going on?" he says once again. At this point the tailor bursts out laughing, and so does everyone on the high-street.
"You got done! I think you're a prick so I wrote it on your suit in stitching! Waheeyyyy!!" he says. Jimmy-Boy is furious.
"So, I've been 'stitched up'."
"What?"
"I've been stitched up."
"But you were meant to 'get done'....."
"Yeah but surely it makes more sense to say that I've been stitched up....seeing as there's stitching involved?"
"..........I suppose you're right."
And so, history was unknowingly made that very day by the mischievous tailor. Ever since then, cockneys the world over have been leisurely and wantonly uttering this phrase at every opportunity. What a legend.
Interestingly, that tailor was also only 5 foot tall. What a fucking midget!
By the way, the phrase 'egg on face' comes from a similar event, also involving Jimmy-Boy Jameson. He was making an omelette and got egg all over his face, and consequently was very embarrassed. Since that incident, whenever he got embarrassed again people would remark: "This is like that time you got egg on your face."
And so on and so on. Unfortunately, however, due to these two incidents Jimmy-Boy plunged into a deep depression and consequently killed himself. Tough break, eh!